the excitement begins

In one week I'll be living in my own place. I can't wait for Krystal and I to move in together! WE are both stoked beyond belief. It will be so nice to have our own place, and move in at the same time. It's not ganna be my house. And it's not going to be her house. It is OUR home!! We can decorate together!! At first it's going to be quite ghetto. But as time goes on, we will be able to pimp it out. It stinks that we don't have a oven/stove. But we'll get a crock pot (hopefully) and we have a toaster oven, george forman. Praise God!! There is a lot we need. And a lot to do. A lot of money. So pennies will definantly be pinched at first. And with this virus on my computer needing fixed, that doesn't help either.

It stinks b/c I need my computer. That's my life line between Andrew and I. But it may take a while before I can fix that! Anyone have an extra computer!!! :) Drew and I celebrated our one month last week. It's been amazing getting to know him. And seeing how God brought us together.

It's hard to love

The past week or two I've had a lot on my mind. Thinking about "friendships" (or what I thought were friendships.) and people in my life and from my past. Something keeps playing over and over again. I can't say how much pain comes from being walked away from. And this leaves me scared that Andrew will one day do the same.

I was doing my devotion the other day. And read this
1 John 4:7-12

7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[a] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[b] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.


no matter how much hurt I've had, or pain i"ve been through, I must love. And I have to say that is very hard for me to do sometimes. But I realize how important it is. I am going to work on it (with God's help.) And hopefully I can have a pure heart someday! One with love...

Who I am. My ministry in Life.

The past few days or so (even extendedly over the past year)about who I am, in Christ. And trying to "figure out" who He made me to be. I kept wanting to "find out" what He made me for. Well, over the past year or so I've realized I want to start my own ministry someday for hurting people.

Now let me share the gifts Gods given me.
~The ability to be open and honest and share everything from my heart.
~ My compassion and love for people!! (i love so deeply!)
~ Hmm, I put this under the compassion title as well, but I feel people's hurts and needs. Not like most people. I literally feel it myself. My heart bursts for them. All I can do is pray. Sometimes I literally have the ability to feel their pain (like if someone has a headache I can feel it sometimes.)

A year ago a friend encouraged me to look into my name and it's meaning. Telling me how it's biblical to know my name, b/c my name tells of my identity. Well, Christina is "Christ like/ Christ follower" Hope, we all know what Hope means. That's a pretty strong name I carry. Along with this, I've felt many times, very close to God. Like He shows me things He doesn't do for others.

Along with my wanting to start my own ministry someday, I've also had prison ministry on my heart. And now that I've started it down here too, and been in. I so how much I love them, have compassion for them, and love ministering.

I feel like I don't know quite get how to use the gifts he's given me. I've gotten into a lot of trouble and hurt w/ some of them (b/c the can also be my greatest weaknesses.) But what i realized tonight is that once I LEARN how to use them for HIM. and hone in on them, that all together, I can be an awesome, powerful person for HIM!! And that He can and will do a lot through me, if i allow Him, and use those gifts for Him and not me!!! Oh how i wish i could express this great feeling i have inside me right now..

God's answers

The past few days I've really been praying about what God wants me to do. I feel like I've got some answers. Krystal, Cat, and I were all talking about moving in together. Cat may not be able to. So Krystal and I are looking into this one bedroom trailer right behind work. We will prolly move in in a few weeks. But we'd have to buy a fridge, and oven/stove, and I'd need a bed. So i'm a lil "ahhh" about that. But the amount i pay for rent here at Cats, it's gana be just a bit more than that at this new place.

I'm going to start getting trained on how to Open the store. Woohoo. That's big responsibility!

When I went to Word of Life, my best friend had to leave to go to jail for something he did a year before hand. I was devastated. I also worked at Liberty Thrift, which was a ministry for ppl. who just got out of jail. Prison ministry has been on my heart for 4 years now. And I also spent the 7 months in Alabama doing prison ministry. A guy at C.R. told me about a prison ministry down here. I went in last nite! The girls are sooo sweet. They walk up and shake hands, give hugs. We do C.R. in there. They break up into small groups after worship and the message is given. I can go in 3 times on the guest list. In order to go in all the time, I have to fill out and send in paper work. Then a month or so later get it back, and then go to a 4 hour trianing that they have around here every other month. I can't wait!! I don't know if God brought me down here FOR this, or is just allowing THIS to be something He's giving me. But it's incredible being part of a ministry where you can give of yourself! And when you have a passion for it, it's better yet

What to do

The past few weeks I've been thinking about my life here in Texas. Trying to be realistic about the situation. I'm working about 30 some hours each week. I put some money back each week for savings. I don' think I'm ganna have enough saved anytime soon to move out. And if by June, I can move into the Temple College housing, but i'll have to be scheduled for atleast 3 classes. And that's 300 a month + utilities. So i'd have to be working and going to classes. I don't know if i'd be able to work enough hours to make enough.

I'm praying about what God wants me to do. Stay here or go home. I'm ganna try and give it till june and if by then i'm not in my own place, or have money to get into my own place, I'm going to come home for good when I come for Devon's wedding.

Praise Him, oh Praise Him

When I was in Alabama, I used to ask my teammates almost every day, what their Praise of the day was. It could be ANY thing. "I pulled out matching socks from my drawer" exc. Now, I ask Andrew that every time we talk. Today, I have several of them.

I'll save the best for the last. So yesturday I had one of my dreams fulfilled! I went on a motorcyle ride! We just went around the block, and very slow, but it was great!! One dream down! Now I have to ride a ski doo, and milk, a cow!

Since a friend of mine from Word of Life went to jail, and I worked for Liberty thrift and ministries (a 1/2 way house out of prison.) I had a passion for prison ministry. I realized how important it is! Christians in jail and have it rough. Anyway, starting thursday I'm going to be doing womans prison ministry down here! I can't wait, I'm sooo excited!

While I was down in Alabama, there was a couple that came down for a few months to help out. They were from back home, near me. When I went home, I starting going to Franconia church, and they went there as well. We continued our friendship. I call them aunt and uncle. Anyway, they were coming down to Texas and decided to stop in to see me!! They came and took Cat and I to supper last nite. It was so wonderful seeing them!

Tonight I had an amazing phone call from mom. I have a cousin who lives in Maryland. He's a few years younger than I. He and his dad are big crack addicts. Both living on the streets, in and out of shelters. I'm talking about major addictions. He's in jail again. His mom, and her brother went to visit him. He came in w/ a Bible and started reading them scripture!! He got saved and is now "catholic." Not exactly ideal, BUT it's a start! I'm going to write him and share more w/ him!!!!!!! I was so excited to hear about this, that I started crying. Not just a tear, but full out crying. Praise God for His miracles!

i'm a working woman

I was scheduled 25-ish hours this week. But i'm ending up with 41. Yay!!!! BUT i won't get extra hours like that all the time. So i'ma guess i'll have close to 25 next week. A lot of those hours I got were due to working split shifts. Today 10-2 then 4-10. Yesturday too. My feet haven't been hurting anymore, but they sure hurt tonight lol.

i'm "patiently" waiting for aunt esther and uncle howie to come!! i have NO idea when it's ganna be. it could be tomorrow? it could be who knows. but i can hardly contain myself! :)

it catches up with you

My older cousin and I have been messaging on facebook w/ each other today. I've done a LOT wrong, and have hurt her. Stuff from my past is being brought up. I needed to hear it. But at the same time, I dwell on what ppl. tell me, instead of letting it go. So now I'm in this mood where I just want to retrieve and be by myself.

she also asked why i move all over and don't stay in one place. she says she wants me to stay in one place and that at some point of time my mom is going to need me there to help and take care of her.

I've been thinking about coming home. Not sure what's ganna happen. Ya I have a job and am enjoying it. But the reality of it all is, I'm not getting payed enough. Eventually I have to move out of Cat's place. If I go to school in the fall, I'm still going to have to work full time (which right now i'm only part) in order to pay for an apt. I'm just so confused.